I had a whole blog drafted about where I’ve been, what we’ve been up to, sorry for not updating the blog, blah blah blah… I’ll post it eventually, but sorry, you’re getting this for now.
I am so PISSED right now. It’s just one of those weeks where nothing is going right. at. all.
I know it’s not just me either. The one positive this week is I’ve started up with my workouts again (after a brief post-4th of July hiatus), and have actually got up every morning so far this week (go me). Working out usually helps me maintain my Zen.
However, there is no Zen this week. No Zen.
For one thing, I’m very unsatisfied with my professional life right now. I won’t blog too much about that here – rule number one is not to blog about work – but there’s been a lot of drama. I’m doing a lot of growing, as a manager, but growth is not always fun, and I’ve to deal with a lot of situations I’d rather not. (None created by me, I might add). Not to mention the virus on my computer, when of course the main IT guy is out. Fun, fun!
In addition, I’m in the midst of a very “what do I want to do with my life” existential crisis right now. (I go through that a couple times a year, but I like to chalk it up to my need to grow and progress and become a better and more fulfilled human being). Exacerbating the problem is the fact that I’m also on summer hiatus from my graphic design classes, which is my saving grace, my outlet. The plan was to buy the graphics programs and learn at home this summer, but various expenses came up, food and gas soared, and we, like everyone else these days, have to keep up best we can. Frankly, coming up with tuition – even community college tuition – won’t be a picnic this year. Not to mention I really need the software to take the two classes I want to take. Not to mention I'm sure there will be a few books on top of tuition and software.
(Note: I have to interject here and mention that while my main goal is to be a good mother and be home with the kids as much as I can, I do also feel that need to progress in other areas besides “mom” (happy mom=happy family), and if I’m going to have to work outside the home – which right now I do – and spend that much time away from my kids… well, I want it to be fulfilling, you know?)
In addition to being worried about my life direction, bills, etc., just stupid things are ruining my universe right now. For example, my mail yesterday consisted of a DMV notice saying I need to pay my registration NOW (it’s admittedly way overdue, but really, who has $150 just lying around right now? With gas prices, I’d buy a bike with that cash)! PLUS I have to get my car smogged (I just did that like 3 years ago, what the hell?). PLUS my engine light went on literally the day prior to the notice, and I can’t pass smog with the engine light on, which means I have to shell out to get THAT fixed before I pay for smog and registration.
My other piece of mail was jury duty notice. Seriously???
On top of all that, tonight we were going to go with friends on a double date that was already postponed once and now looks like it won’t happen because our babysitting isn’t happening. Now, in all fairness, I know it is not fair to expect anyone to watch our child, especially for free (even our relatives), but there really wasn’t a reason other than someone really didn't feel like it– the person, I might add, wasn't even the one who would be watching her – and frankly, it would have been nice to get out, given the week I’ve had and the fact that we double date… oh wait, never. We’ve never been on a double date. Ever.
I'll admit it, I cried after that. It was just the straw, you know?
I'm sure I'm growing as a person and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and one day I know we won't be so strapped for cash and really, life could be so much worse and blahblah blah... but right now it just sucks.
To end, I apologize to all those who visited this blog hoping for pictures, a fun story, a Linny update, etc. and got a rant instead. Sometimes the rant is just necessary. Thanks for listening.
1 comment:
I know how to get out of jury duty! Talk to me, I just did it like a month ago!
Post a Comment