I'm In Love...

...with my beautiful baby boy. He's so lovely and healthy and fun.

Of course I have always loved him, but the first few months of motherhood are hard for me. I'll be honest - Dumplin, as with my other baby Lumpkin, was not really that much fun at first. Of course, we had our moments - the first smiles and coos, those "quiet alert" moments of staring and loving and learning. But spectacular as those moments are, and well worth the rest of it, they are few and far between. My babies are not good sleepers, good eaters, good anything the first few months.

Well, besides cute. I'm lucky to be blessed with gorgeous babies that get compliments left and right. Which is good, because I'm prideful when it comes to my family and would have hated to have one of those "Ohlookyourbabyisso... little!" kinda babies.

But I digress. The point is, both with Mr Dumplin and Ms Lumpkin, I spent the first 4 or so months extremely sleep deprived and depressed over breastfeeding problems. (I have strong feelings about that, but I'll save those for another post). Combine that with the challenges of going back to work during that same time period, and it's a rough ride.

But once they get past that stage, start sleeping better, start developing their personality, things are magical. And with Dumplin fast approaching 6 months old, that magical time is now. And, oh, how I'm enjoying it.

There are so many things I love about him:

• The fact that I his legs are so thick I can only fit my fingers around half of one.
• The fact that he wears the same size diaper as his 2 1/2 year old sister, due to said chubby legs
• The way he clings to me like a baby monkey
• The way his baby fine hair sticking straight up outta his head only adds to the monkey effect
• The way he laughs in that deep boy voice that sounds a bit like Butthead crossed with wee gasps of excitement (huh-huh-eee! huh-huh-eee!)
• The way he is SO eager to grow up - to move, to walk, to crawl, to partake. He wants it so so badly.
• The way he explodes into a smile when we look in a mirror, only to get shy and bury himself in my shoulder
• The way he buries himself in my shoulder, with his whole body and soul and trust
• The way his whole face lights up when he sees me, especially when I come home from work
• The way his eyes crinkle up when he's really excited
• The big pouty lip he gets when he is sad, and how I can make it go away

The list grows with each passing day. Last night I woke to his cries at 4am, only to find him half hanging off the swing (he's officially too big for the swing). When I got him out to change his diaper, he was in a rare quiet alert mood. He just stared at me, oh so peacefully, with those big blue eyes, a slight smile on his face. And stared. We just looked at each other for a few minutes, just staring and taking each other in, and I remember clearly thinking how I wanted to remember this moment. How I knew how fast it would be gone, how hard I would try to remember this moment a year or two from then, and how hard it would be to recall the details and the feelings. I know because I do it with Lumpkin now, and already it seems a lifetime ago. It's bittersweet... ultimately, it makes me more determined to blog more regularly because I want these moments to be recorded, to be shared, to be remembered.

All in all, that moment of connection just made me grateful for this wonderful spirit who has joined our family, and for the privilege of watching him grow and become even more wonderful.

Which is an attitude I will need to remember two years from now when he's running around screaming and destroying my house. Trust me, I know from experience.