I'm In Love...

...with my beautiful baby boy. He's so lovely and healthy and fun.

Of course I have always loved him, but the first few months of motherhood are hard for me. I'll be honest - Dumplin, as with my other baby Lumpkin, was not really that much fun at first. Of course, we had our moments - the first smiles and coos, those "quiet alert" moments of staring and loving and learning. But spectacular as those moments are, and well worth the rest of it, they are few and far between. My babies are not good sleepers, good eaters, good anything the first few months.

Well, besides cute. I'm lucky to be blessed with gorgeous babies that get compliments left and right. Which is good, because I'm prideful when it comes to my family and would have hated to have one of those "Ohlookyourbabyisso... little!" kinda babies.

But I digress. The point is, both with Mr Dumplin and Ms Lumpkin, I spent the first 4 or so months extremely sleep deprived and depressed over breastfeeding problems. (I have strong feelings about that, but I'll save those for another post). Combine that with the challenges of going back to work during that same time period, and it's a rough ride.

But once they get past that stage, start sleeping better, start developing their personality, things are magical. And with Dumplin fast approaching 6 months old, that magical time is now. And, oh, how I'm enjoying it.

There are so many things I love about him:

• The fact that I his legs are so thick I can only fit my fingers around half of one.
• The fact that he wears the same size diaper as his 2 1/2 year old sister, due to said chubby legs
• The way he clings to me like a baby monkey
• The way his baby fine hair sticking straight up outta his head only adds to the monkey effect
• The way he laughs in that deep boy voice that sounds a bit like Butthead crossed with wee gasps of excitement (huh-huh-eee! huh-huh-eee!)
• The way he is SO eager to grow up - to move, to walk, to crawl, to partake. He wants it so so badly.
• The way he explodes into a smile when we look in a mirror, only to get shy and bury himself in my shoulder
• The way he buries himself in my shoulder, with his whole body and soul and trust
• The way his whole face lights up when he sees me, especially when I come home from work
• The way his eyes crinkle up when he's really excited
• The big pouty lip he gets when he is sad, and how I can make it go away

The list grows with each passing day. Last night I woke to his cries at 4am, only to find him half hanging off the swing (he's officially too big for the swing). When I got him out to change his diaper, he was in a rare quiet alert mood. He just stared at me, oh so peacefully, with those big blue eyes, a slight smile on his face. And stared. We just looked at each other for a few minutes, just staring and taking each other in, and I remember clearly thinking how I wanted to remember this moment. How I knew how fast it would be gone, how hard I would try to remember this moment a year or two from then, and how hard it would be to recall the details and the feelings. I know because I do it with Lumpkin now, and already it seems a lifetime ago. It's bittersweet... ultimately, it makes me more determined to blog more regularly because I want these moments to be recorded, to be shared, to be remembered.

All in all, that moment of connection just made me grateful for this wonderful spirit who has joined our family, and for the privilege of watching him grow and become even more wonderful.

Which is an attitude I will need to remember two years from now when he's running around screaming and destroying my house. Trust me, I know from experience.

Weirdest Celebrity Baby Names

ParentDish just put out a list of the top 100 Weirdest Celebrity Names. At first I thought I disagreed with the order they put them (Anais is wierder than Banjo or Audio Science???)... but then I realized they were just in alphabetical order.

Doh.

Check the list out here.

The good, the bad, and the sleepless.

As I write this, I'm listening to Will cry upstairs. Poor kid is already teething, and he sucks at getting himself to sleep anyways. And there goes Alinea...

Ok, I'm back. Whew. Success.

Having Will and Linny share a room is rough. As I said, he cannot get himself to sleep, plus he still wakes up a few times a night. Every night. A good night is 3-4 times. A bad night is 5 or more. And if it's before Linny is asleep, like tonight, he wakes her up. Sometimes it's vice versa. Yeah, my kids don't sleep. I'm getting desperate. I might have to go spend the night at a hotel or something and let Chris sleep train Will one night.

It's been one of those days. Today was Chris' first Sunday having to work again, which meant wrangling the kids at church alone. I'm grateful Chris is back at work again, but I miss him a lot. Especially on Sundays. Handing the kids at church by myself can be a challenge, but usually I do pretty good.

Unless, like today, it's just in the air.

You know what I'm talking about? Whether it's your kids, or a bunch of kids at daycare or at church, they all just have the willies, and one or five of them start crying, and then they all start feeding off it and they ALL just decide to misbehave? Well, it was in the air today. Not only were the Primary kids a bunch of monkeys, but Will would not sleep at all at church. Usually he'll pass out for a nap at some point, but not today. He was fussy even when I held him (that's the other thing - neither of my kids will fall asleep in my arms. Never have, never will). Plus, Alinea was in Dr Jekyll mode, running down the pews at church, making loud noises on purpose, screaming when you tried to settle her down. Sigh.

It wasn't really a terrible day, just exhausting. To the point that I'm going to wrap up this post in a minute, have some wonton soup, and fall into the welcoming arms of the pillows on my bed.

I want to end it on a positive note though. I was fortunate enough to attend the baptism of a new family tonight. Lara, and her daughter Chenoa, have been attending our ward for awhile now. Chenoa just turned 8 and I've been fortunate to get to know her in our Primary classes. Baptisms are always cool experiences, but tonight was just special. There were so many people in attendance that we had to move rooms, and cheesy as it sounds, there was a lotta love in that room. I just think about this new family and the journey they have been to get to this place, and hope they feel all that love.

It was hard to concentrate on the experience itself, having all three kids in tow at 7:30 at night (eek!), but I was fortunate enough to sit by a dear friend and her family who are always so amazingly helpful with the kids, especially Alinea. If they hadn't been sitting by me and helping, I don't know if we would have made it through the evening.

I know not everyone always understands my religious views and why I have them, but experiences like tonight have a lot to do with them. Obviously it was important enough that I hauled my three kids out to see it. But even with all that was going on, I felt really upbeat and happy afterward. I was glad they got to see the joy of this family, and share in that.

And really, isn't joy what it's all about?

And on that note, I bid you goodnight. My soup is calling my name...

Annnnnd we're back.

Soooo... I know. It's been awhile. But in my defense, was a rough year. A fantastic year, in many ways, but a rough year. Long story short, I was hugely pregnant juggling work and a toddler most of the year, my husband lost his job, and my car DIED on the side of the freeway in the worst part of Oakland when I was 9 months pregnant. We were fortunate to have a lot of friends and family to help, but there were a lot of depressing moments. And really, who wants to read about that?

BUT, as I said, 2009 was also fantastic in many ways.

By far the most important piece of news was that we had an addition to our family! So, without further ado, may I present William Emmett Walter Paquette, aka "the Dumplin'":

hello world!

So admittedly, this is a not a newborn pic. I will post those soon (along with a birth story). This was taken about a month ago, when Will was 3 months old, and it's one of my faves. Like all our kids, Will is all head! :)

Will has been such a blessing. I'll admit that having a third kid was really, really hard for the first month. Like all our kids, Will entered the world dramatically, doesn't sleep much at night, and, to my despair, absolutely would not get the hang of breastfeeding (not even after multiple lactation consultants). But he's such a sweet boy. I love how much of his personality has emerged already.

It never fails to amaze me how two kids birthed of the same parents, same genes, can be so entirely different. Linny Lumpkin is our wild thing, our hurricane, our Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde. She's extremely intelligent - she knows all her colors, can count to 20, and knows more songs than Aden. And extremely verbal - she talks in paragraphs. And extremely cute - you should hear her say "I love you SOOO much!" It could stop wars.

And then, at a moment's notice, she's the devil child, screaming at the top of her lungs while hitting you, throwing things, slapping her brother for fun, throwing poop around her room (oh yes, she's a poop thrower!), and DESTROYING the house. At one point, I believe I had crayons on her closet, colored pencils on the dresser, markers on the table, and pen all over the couches.

(FYI, vinegar does wonders on microfiber).

And that's not even counting the numerous pieces of ruined clothing, or the fact that we chopped off her thick hair because it was constantly covered in dirt and snot and she would not, would not, let us even touch it, let alone put it in pigtails, or the Code-10 emergency that is Alinea when she wants an apple. Or Cheerios. Or Chocolate. ("Choc-o-late? Choc-o-late peeees? I need Chocolate! I need Choc-o-late right. Now! Chocolate! CHOCOLATE!!!!!")

In contrast, I can already tell Will is going to be our sensitive, thoughtful one. He spent the first 3 months of life staring at his siblings with a look that said, "this is my family?" The older he gets, though, the more he smiles - a huge, dimpled, fat-cheeked, Cabbage Patch smile! He's already my little lovebug. I absolutely love his smile when I hold him tight and we look in the mirror cheek to cheek.

He's going to be as active as his brother, too. We can't keep blankets in his crib at all - he either kicks them off entirely or grabs them and pulls them over his face in his sleep! He already tries to crawl when you put him on your tummy and since he was a month old, he's been happiest standing. He even starts putting one foot in front of the other when you hold him up by his arms.

It's amazing to watch them grow and see their personalities emerge. Even as exasperated as we get, I know Alinea's willpower will come in handy for her one day when she's facing peer pressure at school. And even when I'm exhausted from waking up with Will, my huge butterball baby that can't stop eating, I'm grateful for all the cuddles and smiles, and how his little fat hand wrapped around my finger calms him like nothing else can.

I think it's going to be a fun year. :) And I'm going to keep this blog much more up-to-date with our adventures in 2010.

Promise.

Day After Thanksgiving

As with Thankgiving, the day after is serious business: eat, lie on your butt, eat, take a nap, eat some more, go to bed.

Come to think of it, the day AFTER Thanksgiving might be my favorite holiday. :)

Ok, well really, Uncle Brian crashed on our couch, and we loaded up the car and went to Santa Cruz to get a tree (but ended up finding one at Lowe's on the way - which was dead three weeks before Christmas.  Go to Santa Cruz next time).  A little tree decorating, a little baseball, and then we Brian headed home and we went back over to my parents for Round 2 of The Spread (see pics on previous post). 

Still think it's my favorite holiday.  :)

The tree in it's glory days.

Uncle Brian and Pumpkin

Our little slugger (starts Little League very soon)!

BFFs, separated at birth.

I leave you with the Lumpkin looking like Debbie Harry caught by the paparazzi after a rough night circa the 1970s...

And Pumpkin looking EXACTLY like his Dad circa the 1980s.

More Catching Up...

I've been editing photos like crazy lately, can you tell? ;)

Here's some Thanksgiving pics (best. holiday. ever.)!  Chris' bff Brian came out from San Fran, and we made the most delectable spread ever.  If you are ever lucky enough to be invited for dinner, be forewarned:  we don't mess around when it comes to food!  Seriously.  Don't eat all day.  Fast.  You'll need the room.

Macy's Parade (aka "Linny meets Kermit"):

Oh, the baking that ensued.   Yes, by me.  The lard biscuits...

Hooray!  They didn't burn...

Cheddar and sage and bacon oh my...

After a few technical difficulties, the pre-baked pie...

And baked... I made a fab crust, if I do say so myself (thanks for the recipe, K!)

And a la mode, mmm...

Below is The Spread. As I said, we don't mess around.  There were 6 of us, not including Alinea, and my sis doesn't even eat meat!  Asparagus, my mom's candied yams, the bomb-diggity root vegetable gratin (courtesy of my hubby), gravy, lard biscuits, and the a Tur-duck-en!  (For the un-initiated, that's a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey).  Not pictured: my husband's currant & pistachio bread pudding w/streusal topping.  AHHHH!  So good.

Linny's first Thanksgiving feast:

Me and my sis:

Nana Jenn (my mom) and Linny crashed out:

Jessie & Brian lounging...

A good day

Just a short note of gratitude, though I'm supposed to be continuing my cleaning streak...

Today was a very good day, indeed.  It was one of those days where I managed to get a bunch of housework done and - more importantly - spent some quality time with both kids.

Halfway through the day Pumpkin started begging to go on a "mommy date" with me.  I wasn't sure how it was going to happen, as my parents were unavailable and I had no one to watch Linny Lumpkin.  On a whim and a prayer I called my friend Shauna up the street (literally).  Her daughter is only a month apart from Linny, and I was hoping they wouldn't mind taking on another. :)  Thankfully she and her husband were happy to help so Pumpkin and I were able to see "Bedtime Stories".   It was a surprisingly entertaining movie, and I was so glad the little guy had been so persistent.  We had such a fun time together, plus Linny was in good hands and had a great play date of her own.

After I got the kids to bed, I started putting things away and found yet another box full of old cards, letters, and photos that I had forgotten about (I thought I organized all those)!  So of course I started rummaging through, and now my heart is really full.  Years of memories - the one middle school friend who wrote after I moved, high school memories, tales from friends during the first year of college, dear friends from Seattle, sweet letters from old beaus that I'd tried on for size who didn't fit and quietly slipped away (but I had them, once upon a time!), postcards from travels, and the dozens and dozens of cards from the oldest and dearest friends one could ask for - graduations, new jobs, marriages, births. Newsletters that started out as newlyweds honeymooning transformed into proud parents. Here and there are endearing notes from co-workers or friends who were only in my life for a moment, but whose parting words made all the difference.  I want to write them all right now and let them know what a difference their notes made - how I look to them for encouragement even now.  Maybe the world really is my oyster, as one said. 

So much love and life is held in those small sheets of paper, and I've barely even begun.  Proof that so many people have touched my life, and hopefully, I've touched a few myself.

Yes, I'm being sentimental now, but as I think of the "toss" pile sitting on my bed, I wonder if I should just hold on to them so I can have another moment like this.  Such spurts of pure gratitude and love are hard to catch.   But two in one day?  Magic. :)