Lies, lies, and more lies

Have you ever noticed how dishonest the world as a whole has become? It's been glaringly obvious to me lately. Two specific examples:

1) John (liar) Edwards
Another one bites the dust. Another cheating politician. I have to say, naive as it is, I was really almost heartbroken over this. I really really liked John (liar) Edwards. I thought he was honest family man with a spectactular wife (one out of three ain't bad), and I would have voted for him in the primary had he made it to the California vote (and if yours truly hadn't registered as the "American Independent Party" instead of "Decline to State" Independent...but that's another story).

To find out he was not only a cheatin' lyin' politician, but a cheatin' lyin' politician with a heart of black coal - who cheated on his terminally ill Betty Crocker-esque wife - just floored me. I guess you really can't tell who people are from their public persona at all. Which I knew, but still...still!

Worst of all, more and more details keep coming out that show (liar) Edwards is still lying about how long he was involved with the woman, did he pay her off, is he her baby's daddy, etc. It's like, you've already screwed yourself royally, just come clean with it all. It will come out, and you've already violated the trust of anyone who knows you exist. Get it done with, already.

I'm voting for Obama now, but my faith is shaken. It makes me wonder what skeletons are his closet, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Which is just another tragic consequence of John (liar) Edwards and his absolutely rotten, selfish behavior.

On to Example #2:

2) China's Gold-Winning Gymnastics Team
China's Gold-Winning Women's Gymnastics Team, to be more specific. Who were admittedly fan-freakin'-tastic is the team overall competition and beyond. As were the Chinese men, but they look their age. They ARE their age. Which brings me to my point.

No way, no way in hell, are all those Chinese girls 16 years old. I'm not only trusting my eyes here, either. There's an interesting commentary in Yahoo's Olympics coverage today about how the IOC needs to get up the guts to investigate: http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/gymnastics/news?slug=dw-gymnastsage081408&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

The article cites several examples of how the Chinese girls were registered in former competitions as being born in 1993, 1994, etc... and then mysteriously their passports produced at the Olympics listed them as being born in 1992. In one case, a girl considered a 13-year-old prodigy as late as Dec 2007 all of sudden became 16 this summer. An amazing feat, no?

The columnist basically calls out the IOC for not having the cohones to investigate China's glaring breach of the rules. It's open and shut, as far as the IOC is concerned. China provided valid passports stating all girls are 16. That's good enough for them.

Because obviously, China is trustworthy. Obviously, a country that takes girls from their villages at age 3 and puts them in government-run training facilities the rest of their prepubescent lives and allows them to see their parents once a year has only the girls' best interest at heart. Obviously they wouldn't allow a 13 year old to risk serious injury by competing before her bones and body are fully developed, no matter how advantageous their nimble young bodies may be during all those gold-winning twists and layouts. Obviously a corrupt government wouldn't even think about how easy it would be to slap a digit change in the date of a year on a passport. I mean, it's not like they make the passports, right? Oh wait...

But China wouldn't do that. Obviously. And obviously, the IOC's lack of courage to address the situation has nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with the millions upon millions they receive from the host country of the Olympics (ie: China). Right?

Right?

Like I said, a dishonest world man. I need to go listen to some Bob Dylan or something now.

PS. For the record, I have already mailed in my new voter registration. I am now - or soon to be- officially "independent" independent... not the stupid American Independent Party.

Sadness

I looked down at my hand this morning and realized that I am missing one of the small diamonds from my wedding band. In it's place stands a tiny black hole.

I must have done it recently, because I would have noticed. I'm not devastated - it's on the side of the ring in an unnoticable area - but it still makes me a bit sad. I'll have to take it to the jewelers this week and make sure they check the rest of the stones.

A moment of silence for my tiny lost diamond, please.

Go for the Gold!

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Olympics time!

Oh, how I love the Olympics. When I was about 12 years old, I got really really really into figure skating. I could tell you the difference between a triple toe flip and triple lutz (tooooe pick!) - I even saved the pullout cheat sheet from TIME magazine.

I was there for the 1992 Olympics, I was there for the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan lead pipe incident (way more interesting than OJ's trial), and I was there in 1994 when a teenage Oksana Baiul bent in half and beat shoo-in Nancy for the gold and sobbed her little orphan heart out. I even watched the men... I knew what Brian Boitano would do. I even poured my little 13 year old heart out in a two page letter to Kristy Yamaguchi - and got a hand signed photo - Always Dream! - sent directly to me! It was framed on my bedside table for years.

Now, the picture and crappy frame are packed away neatly in a box of treasures in my closet. I still like to watch figure skating when it's on, but it's not nearly the obsession is was 15 years (eek!) ago.

On to 2008 Beijing, and I realize my love for the Olympics has never died. If anything, I watch them more obsessively with each passing (two) years. It may be cliche, but there is so much bad news every day, and as the world gets more and more evil, it's a wonderful thing to watch the entire world celebrate together.

Also, I have realized that, oddly, I much prefer the Summer Olympics now. I still watch ice anything in the winter - hockey, dancing, pairs, singles, mens, womens, etc. - beyond that, not much holds my interest. But Summer is swimming, beach volleyball, gymnatics, synchronized diving... I haven't slept since Friday.

Every night, from 8am to nearly midnight, for the past 4 days I sit at my TV screen absolutely entranced. Really, did you see the Opening Ceremonies? Phenomenal. The best performance of anything. Ever. 15,000 extras in LED suits, people running on walls, more fireworks than anyplace ever... truly stunning.

And really, did you see the men's 400M medley relay? The French set to take it, had been trash talking for weeks, are ahead by a full freakin' body length and then all of sudden the last few meters 32 year old Leskin pulls it from somewhere and barely passes the French world record holder to win gold! Team USA is jumping up and down screaming, I was jumping up and down and fist pumping and punching Chris. It was bloody exciting. Eat that Frenchies (and I am one of the few who love the French).

After watching the 1-2-3 of Michael Phelps, Natalie Coughlin, and Aaron Piersol win golds last night, I managed to tear myself away from men's gymnastics out of sheer exhaustion. I was thinking I would get a night off tonight, but then I hear the radio, and nope! Michael Phelps trying for another record-breaking gold! May and Walsh beach volleyball! Natalie Coughlin and Katie Hoff go for medals in women's swimming! Team USA in the women's gymnastics volleyball! And synchronized diving in between.

I guess I have another date with my TV tonight. Go Team USA!

PS.

I just stuck my finger in a diaper full of poop.  Nice.

GARRRRRR (part 2)

So I am supposed to be working from home this afternoon and I cannot log onto my email from home!!!!  And the house is a disaster - even though we both cleaned this weekend - and the baby is grumpy and teething and crawling everywhere and Pumpkin did not nap when he really needed it (I don't care what my husband says, but sleeping while your 5 year old watches TV and dozes on and off on your chest does not constitute a nap) and he didn't even tell him he was going to work so now I am the bad guy who not only has to break the news of Daddy's imminent departure ("But I thought it was Daddy day?") AND I am way too prone to getting annoyed at the poor, tired, chatty 5 year old on my hands. And I haven't even eaten lunch yet and I have waaay too much to do.  Dammit.

But my email!  How am I supposed to work when I cannot log onto my email!?  And now the baby is crying - GAH!  

Le Sigh

Greetings friends.

It's another wistful, sad blog I'm afraid. At home on my lunch break, I told Chris that I think the stress I feel is starting to manifest itself physically - my neck and back are tight, I've been having headaches - and all the while I'm eating healthy and working out daily! Ok, ok, so I slept in this morning - we were up late watching "I Am Legend" (side note: wierd ending, and really, I don't like zombie movies. Far too intense. This is me: "Ahh..scary! I don't like this movie. Hold my hand!" This is Chris: "(insert laughing) It's just a movie!" Me: "Shut up.").

But back to the point. I am ball of stress as of late.

Do you ever look back on life and say, "you know, I really thought I would be further along by the time I was (insert age here)?" That's the way I feel. Back in high school, I thought by the time I was pushing 30, I'd be homeowner and have this great career, and be married with kids. I guess one outta three ain't bad, but I'd thought I'd at least have two. My parents had a house by the time I was 5 - which made my mom 26, two years younger than I am now. But their parents helped them with the down payment, and back then, parents worked at companies 50 years and had pensions and social security and healthcare taken care of and could afford to pitch in a few thou for a down payment. As a gift! (The moneylenders won't give you the mortgage if the downpayment is a loan, did you know that? I just found that out).

Nowadays our parents struggle like everyone else and no one really has a few thou sitting around. Nowadays houses are foreclosing like balloons being popped at a carnival booth. Nowadays asinine "leaders" are discussing charging entrance to even go INTO San Francisco. Nowadays we pay 15% of our paycheck to pay for a war over nothing? For what?

I am not a "sit back and take it" kind of girl, so when I get depressed about our current situation, I scour the internet for expert advice on improving our lives, our finances, etc.: "Get out of debt now!" "Top ten money secrets!" "How to make a living doing what you love!"

The problem is, the advice is all the same. The advice doesn't tell you what to do if you live paycheck to paycheck. They all advise to cut your debt - but "debt" is not the same as monthly bills: phone bill, car payment, rent payment, car insurance, health insurance, groceries, gas... what do you if where you live is just too damn expensive? If LIFE is just too damn expensive? If you make a decent living wage and it still isn't enough? If the country you live in just gets worse and worse.

And as always, I am a lucky one. There are thousands and thousands of people out there way worse than I am - yes, I stress, but the only times I really feel unhappy is when I pay the bills. Besides that, we have plenty. I have clothes, good food, great kids, a comfortable place to live. Our needs our met. Yes, my hair resembles the bleach blond-black roots of the 80s. Yes, it would be nice to wear contacts when I exercise so my glasses don't slowly slide down my sweaty nose. Yes, I'd be nice if I didn't have to hope I can add my classes in the fall and instead could just register and pay tuition early. I'm ok. Our family is ok. We have plenty. And one day, things won't be so stressful.

But today, you know... they are.

GARRRRRRRRHHHHHH!

I had a whole blog drafted about where I’ve been, what we’ve been up to, sorry for not updating the blog, blah blah blah… I’ll post it eventually, but sorry, you’re getting this for now.

I am so PISSED right now. It’s just one of those weeks where nothing is going right. at. all.

I know it’s not just me either. The one positive this week is I’ve started up with my workouts again (after a brief post-4th of July hiatus), and have actually got up every morning so far this week (go me). Working out usually helps me maintain my Zen.

However, there is no Zen this week. No Zen.

For one thing, I’m very unsatisfied with my professional life right now. I won’t blog too much about that here – rule number one is not to blog about work – but there’s been a lot of drama. I’m doing a lot of growing, as a manager, but growth is not always fun, and I’ve to deal with a lot of situations I’d rather not. (None created by me, I might add). Not to mention the virus on my computer, when of course the main IT guy is out. Fun, fun!

In addition, I’m in the midst of a very “what do I want to do with my life” existential crisis right now. (I go through that a couple times a year, but I like to chalk it up to my need to grow and progress and become a better and more fulfilled human being). Exacerbating the problem is the fact that I’m also on summer hiatus from my graphic design classes, which is my saving grace, my outlet. The plan was to buy the graphics programs and learn at home this summer, but various expenses came up, food and gas soared, and we, like everyone else these days, have to keep up best we can. Frankly, coming up with tuition – even community college tuition – won’t be a picnic this year. Not to mention I really need the software to take the two classes I want to take. Not to mention I'm sure there will be a few books on top of tuition and software.

(Note: I have to interject here and mention that while my main goal is to be a good mother and be home with the kids as much as I can, I do also feel that need to progress in other areas besides “mom” (happy mom=happy family), and if I’m going to have to work outside the home – which right now I do – and spend that much time away from my kids… well, I want it to be fulfilling, you know?)

In addition to being worried about my life direction, bills, etc., just stupid things are ruining my universe right now. For example, my mail yesterday consisted of a DMV notice saying I need to pay my registration NOW (it’s admittedly way overdue, but really, who has $150 just lying around right now? With gas prices, I’d buy a bike with that cash)! PLUS I have to get my car smogged (I just did that like 3 years ago, what the hell?). PLUS my engine light went on literally the day prior to the notice, and I can’t pass smog with the engine light on, which means I have to shell out to get THAT fixed before I pay for smog and registration.

My other piece of mail was jury duty notice. Seriously???

On top of all that, tonight we were going to go with friends on a double date that was already postponed once and now looks like it won’t happen because our babysitting isn’t happening. Now, in all fairness, I know it is not fair to expect anyone to watch our child, especially for free (even our relatives), but there really wasn’t a reason other than someone really didn't feel like it– the person, I might add, wasn't even the one who would be watching her – and frankly, it would have been nice to get out, given the week I’ve had and the fact that we double date… oh wait, never. We’ve never been on a double date. Ever.

I'll admit it, I cried after that. It was just the straw, you know?

I'm sure I'm growing as a person and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and one day I know we won't be so strapped for cash and really, life could be so much worse and blahblah blah... but right now it just sucks.

To end, I apologize to all those who visited this blog hoping for pictures, a fun story, a Linny update, etc. and got a rant instead. Sometimes the rant is just necessary. Thanks for listening.