A New Outlook

I really have been insanely productive lately (see previous post). Well, at home anyways. I'm hoping it translates over to work this week. :)

I started working out a couple times a week three weeks ago, and then that progressed this past week to starting this workout program, where I work out 6 days a week, alternating cardio and weights, plus I eat fantastically well - all lean protein, eggs (mostly whites), whole grains, and more veggies than you can shake a stick out. Seriously, I eat TONS of vegetables. And like it!

On top of that, I also read this book, and it has unleashed a monster. It's like all the creativity I have NOT been making time for has welled to the surface. Last week we went to the art store and got clay and tissue paper for collage making. I draw again. I play music (we gave Aden a keyboard for his birthday). I've picked back up the long-forgotten embroidery project in my drawer. I've been looking into felt online - I want to sew Linny a doll. I want to get a machine and learn to sew, in general. And, of course, I blog. Katy and I want to start a blog just to catalog all our creativity.

The end result of all this - the exercise, the eating right, the tap into my creativity, the "me time" of being up before my family - has been amazing. This has been one of the happiest weeks I can recall in a long time. I play more with my kids - I have remembered how to play! - and being home with them on weekends doesn't seem like a chore now that it's full of play and arts and crafts and music.  I feel better, I look better.  I get to create again.  I feel more in tune with my body, and have a heightened awareness of it in general. I LIKE working out. I feel healthier, more alive. I'm more relaxed. I'm more productive in general. I cook - all the time - good food! I'm better at cleaning (seriously - all this cooking means learning how to clean faster). 

I feel more fulfilled, like I'm really on a path towards living life to it's fullest. 

Really, it's a fantastic feeling.  I hope I can keep it up.  This quote sums it up nicely:

What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes?  Herein lies the key to your earthly pursuits.  - Carl Jung

The weather gods have forsaken us.

It's supposed to be 103F tomorrow. It's the middle of May!  This is just not right.

Oh, and I meant to post this earlier, but Spring allergies have again beaten my family down. Especially my poor husband.  He went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, and came home with this:

(Mind you the Zyrtec is missing in this picture)  

The pharmacy has helped him become a functioning human being once again, but he's still got along way to go.  I think he's getting tired of the "heroin chic" eyes.

You may have won this round, Spring. But we'll see how you do against your next opponent: Air Purifier.

Ahhhhhh!

Today has just been one of "those" days.  One of those weeks, really (and this was supposed to be a relaxing week)!

Only parents, or those who are constantly around children, can really understand what a bad day with kids is like.  It's usually not anything horrible... no one got hit by a car, no one did anything particularly embarrassing like swearing loudly in the checkout line or asking why that person looked funny, no one threw up all over me.  

It's more like Chinese water torture... an emotional drip, drip, drip until your forehead is numb and you feel like you are going to explode in hysterics.  

As I write this, Linny Lumpkin is screaming in the other room.  I have done everything possible - everything - to try and soothe her. I rocked her. I nursed her. I tried a bottle (both with and without rice cereal). I tried Children's Tylenol. I tried just holding her and shushing... nothing has worked. I finally just put her back in her room, waiting until she cries herself into an exhausted sleep. I hate it - every fiber in me wants to comfort her - but I've done all I can. She has Pumpkin's cold - runny nose, red eyes, a croupy cough - and on top of that is cutting her first tooth. I can actually feel the sharp little edge poking through her poor gums. I am no match.

Today was my afternoon off to be with the kids.  It was supposed to be a fun and relaxing afternoon - beautiful weather, a trip to the park, hang out with friends... but no.  As I mentioned, Lumpkin has a cold and is teething (no match, I tell you). Pumpkin is just getting over the same cold and is still at that snotty, coughy post-cold stage.  I was hoping to get some much-needed work done at home while the kids slept, but true to form, Lumpkin woke up from her nap the second I had put Pumpkin down for his.  Plus, I had to wake Pumpkin up from his nap to take the baby to the baby to the doctor... and I have been suffering the consequences of it ever since.

You would think 2 hours would have been plenty, but post-preschool with a cold, no.  I love our Pumpkin dearly, but when he is tired and not feeling well (and in typical kid-like fashion, doesn't know it!), he is Chinese Water Torture!  It was this wierd combination of bored, whiney, hyper, attention-seeking, demanding and bossy all at once.  Examples:

As I go to get him his promised snack:  

"Don't forget... I want an apple!  And not a smushy one like last time."

Drip.

At the doctor's:

"They have a lot of candy here.  Can I have a lollipop?"

"Yes,, but you have to promise me that you'll be really good, and play quietly in the corner while I talk to the doctor."

"I promise!"

While I am trying to discuss Lumpkin with the doctor (as he climbs on my lap): 

I'm the big brother!  What's that?  What does that mean?  Does that mean she won't heal? I can't see! Am I getting a shot?  Can I still have a lollipop?

Drip.

Dinner:  "I ate all my food!  Can I have dessert?" 

Me: "Nope, as I said before, no dessert and no snacks."

Pumpkin promptly opens the freezer to expect for himself.  

About 5 minutes later:

"Can I have a cheesy stick?"

Drip Drip.

At bedtime, Lumpkin was fast asleep until 10 minutes after Pumpkin was in bed.  Then she started crying mercilessly... this pathetic, coughy, croupy cry.  So of course Pumpkin starts YELLING:  "MOOOOOOM. The baby is crying!"

Drip drip drip drip... 

Going in the room, of course, means that it's free reign to stall bedtime further.  As I tried desperately to rock Lumpkin to sleep, Pumpkin sat straight up in bed, "Hi Mom!"  About two seconds after "Not another word!" he was still sitting straight up, grinning at me like he had just stolen a cookie. Two cookies.

It's almost 10pm now, and I think - I hope - the baby is finally fast asleep.  I'm dying to watch my rental movie (Juno), but all around me is the trashed house and unfinished work that I will probably end up doing this weekend.  Although I don't know when, as I am home alone with the kids almost all weekend.

Ahhh... and there's the screaming again.

Maybe I'll just curl up in a good hole.

This picture makes me happy

I don't really know why, but it does:

My blogging is giving me nightmares...

...Already! I had a terrible, vivid dream last night that Chris has quit his job. Well, it was more like he was fired for some political reason (it was really wierd) and Chris was like, oh well, and refused to do anything about it.

In the dream, we were someone's house or party and I just lost it and started yelling at him about losing his job, and I remember in the dream his reaction being so non-responsive that it really felt like we were going to split up. I must have been in a really deep sleep, because I had to tear myself out of the dream to wake up, and when I did, it took me a few minutes to catch my breath and realize where I was.

I know it's because blogging about his new job was the last thing I did before bed. Bad dreams = no bueno.

The Weatherman's barometer needs a tune-up

The weather was 90 degrees today!  90!  The forecast said it would be a high of 70. 

It was a beautiful day though.

It's Official.

I have the cutest baby, ever. Just try to fight me on this:

Game. Set. Match.